A List of Thoughts the Night Before Election

Photo from Rappler.com.

Photo from Rappler.com.

1. Election Day tomorrow. As of this writing, the most real-life version of Chito Rono’s Badil is exercising the dirtiest form of politics. In a country that keeps on repeating its mistakes, how could this be surprising?

2. I could not afford a Duterte presidency. At some point, I would have succumbed to his promises and the delusions of his fanatics. He did it in Davao, they say, so perhaps he could do it in the country. But I cannot get past through the masochistic remarks; he personifies the backward patriarchal culture that the progressives try so hard to crush.  The false promises are difficult to embrace. But most importantly, it is the fear that we’re handing our soul to him–someone who treats his critics as a joke–just because we’re so fucking desperate.

3. A Roxas presidency is something I could tolerate simply because his supporters are not delusional, but that does not mean I’ll vote for him. I was so sad when he lost in 2010; in 2004, the seven-year old me adored him as Mr. Palengke.  But Roxas is the same person who vows to continue another illusion that is the daang matuwid. Aquino was an administration that made “boss” a rhetoric than a realization; shrugging off critics as if their opinions had no validity. There was no strong acknowledgement on the plight of the Hacienda Luisita farmers or the Lumad. To vote for him is to retain a status quo that has only completely favored the ruling class.

4. I hated Binay before and feared for his possible win, but now I just pity the guy. His first loss in his political career will be the most important one. This is his fault. To claim that no corruption allegation of him has been proven yet does not give him the benefit of the doubt that he does not deserve, as he was absent in any hearing that demanded his presence.

Binay, bring us back one year ago, and you could have been president.

5. If I vote for Grace Poe, it would be a strategic vote to stop Duterte from winning. That is all. But given all the compromises this woman has done lately, I don’t really a see a future that deviates from the status quo.

6. When Miriam announced she would run, I was so happy. I even told an orgmate that I would volunteer for her campaign team. But that ship sailed the moment she teamed up with Marcos. I admired this woman, despite her inconsistencies, and implicitly, her shaming of the non-intellectuals. She could have been president in 1992, and I really believe she could be the best president we never had. But Miriam, your time has passed. Not now, when you try to make the whole world believe that you have survived cancer. Not now, when you make your case that 20 million youth can rally behind you, when UP, at the very least, has unite to stop Marcos. Not now, but maybe in another life, in a parallel universe. If I vote for you, it’s because I’m voting for ‘once upon a time’, for who you were.

7. My vice presidential vote goes to Leni. In as much as I hate the administration, Leni is a breath of fresh air, the only consistent candidate in all the debates. She’s unassuming, but has stepped up to the cause. This is my cognitive bias speaking, because I was able to get past through the fact that she has not really addressed the Lumad or the Hacienda Luisita farmers, or tried to downplay the role of the government in the Kidapawan massacre. But I don’t believe that she’s another Cory. This is a woman who does not have a hacienda or a dynasty to protect. This is a woman who has been in the laylayan, someone who has fought with the farmers such as those of Sumilao, when she really had no political reason to. Forgive me for my illusion that she won’t be a mouthpiece of LP, or that perhaps she won’t protect the interests her elitist party is trying to protect. This is a woman whose husband has negotiated with the intricacies of everyday politics, and I’d love to believe she will do the same.

8. Never Again, Never Forget. This is not solely about Bongbong being a son of Marcos. This is about a son who chose to glorify Martial Law. Martial Law is about dreams that became only dreams because the persons who made them can no longer fulfill them.  It’s a travesty how we have come to this; how tomorrow could be a sad story. We are the joke that’s not even funny.

9. My vote for senator goes to Neri Colmenares. I’m not sure if I’ll vote for some other people.

10. If this were 2010 or 2013, I would vote for Risa Hontiveros, no questions asked. But this is 2016, when I’m no longer a fan of Akbayan. What I would say is that despite my mixed feelings towards you, I know you are going to win–finally. This is your Pia Wurtzbach moment, you say. And for all its worth, good luck.

11. My vote for party-list goes to Kabataan.

12. Tomorrow’s election would not end my boring, monotonous, consumer-driven life. I feel like tomorrow is just a spectacle; a one-minute break in a continuous questioning of my existence. A part of me feels like I’m the protagonist from Fight Club, too tired and too trapped. There’s one person, however, who I am (very much assumingly) sharing glances with from some time now. Dear God, I don’t really believe in you, but let me tell you that I have never been this drowned to a fantasy. Not since high school. My head’s going to explode soon from this hopeless imagination–and it just gets sadder and sadder.

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